Well, hello!!! I’m so excited to return, and I come bearing gifts of great joy! I’ve been working on a little project near and dear to my heart for some time now, and I’m ready to announce its arrival! Since it’s inception, The Lovewell Post has been a place of community, a place of highlighting the best wedding loveliness CNY has to offer, and all the while helping make your planning journey enjoyable– so, I thought you should be the first to know! With butterflies in my tummy and a deep breath… let me tell you a little bit about it!
If you’ve been reading for a while now, you know I love love. You know I am a wedding designer/planner, and you know I love where I live. You might know that theater is my first love (where creativity is endless and collaboration is the name of the game) and I’m madly in love with my forever love, my husband. You probably also can take a guess that I think marriage is pretty swell, and that that’s an understatement. Through all of these avenues I’ve made some observations:
It’s all about the bride.
A lot rides on a bride. Society asks brides to be in the spotlight on her wedding day and that every decision up until that point rides on the bride and “her day.” It also suggests that the groom “shows up” on the wedding day. This long-standing concept might work brilliantly for some couples– but through my experience, I’ve found that pressure to be overwhelming, stressful and undesired by many brides.
Everything’s better together.
Through my experience, I’ve also seen the benefits of couples, their weddings and their marriage when they’ve planned it together. Even though my clients have hired a wedding planner (duh), they make an effort to plan together, our meetings are together, they work together to create their day. But the crazy, underlying outcome is: they are less stressed in their journey (see above note), their families enjoy the wedding day more (especially the parents) and their day is more meaningful. I’ve also been able to glean that beyond the wedding day, they are still doing life together through the fun, the tough and the adventurous. Life done together is just better.
Who performs without practice?
The biggest thing I’ve learned, both as a bride and now a guide, is that the planning process is perfect practice for marriage. You do all the things in planning you do in marriage! Budget, make priorities, work through strengths and weaknesses, manage expectations, resolve conflict, celebrate, depend on each other, survive (and hopefully thrive) through family dynamics, set boundaries, make the best of disappointments, share dreams and goal-set to achieve them, etc. Most couples don’t realize this golden opportunity, and start their new lives together facing all of these very things with little experience, or at least with little practice working through it together.
Beyond the couple
The coming together of two people is a huge transition for them and their families. Even if you’ve been together for a long time, there is a heightened reality that this couple will soon be their own unit, maybe even someday their own family. By coming together as a couple through the process, not only does the couple exercise how to come together, but their respective families can also practice the evolved state of relationship. This can give promise to the parent/child relationship growing healthily through a transition, instead of an abrupt alteration.
Divorce doesn’t need to be your backup plan.
Lastly, the rate of divorce still sucks. Divorce in this country has become an acceptable business transaction of relational termination between two people who had otherwise intimately promised themselves to each other in an unending vow. The pain of this processes not only effects them long after the paper trail has ended, but it has effected our next generations, the meaning of family and absolutely redefined the meaning of a vow. Maybe, just maybe, if we are better prepared for marriage, understand the teamwork it takes to make a life together (which has a different definition for everyone, but certainly is not defined by a solo operation) and have not only hope, but skills to create a healthy and happy marriage. Just think of the lasting effects of your marriage in our families, society and the legacy we leave behind. [And think how much greater the impact if we're also happy and healthy?! Makes me want to dance!]
Oh, there’s so much more I can tell you!!! So much more on my heart to share and to unpack for you, but I run the risk of you never making it to the end of this post! So, let me spit out the result:
EngagedWell: Couple’s Planning Workshops
I’ve created a series of workshops for engaged couples! I have lots of content to share and to help you along your planning path, but first I’ve got to test it out! So I’m doing a trial run for 10 lovely couples Saturday mornings in November (at a steal-of-a-deal rate)!! I am so pumped. And The Barnes Hiscock Mansion in downtown Syracuse is opening their doors for it, and you wouldn’t believe how gorgeous this hidden gem is for a wedding– or anything really! So here are all the details for you in this handy little poster. This is also on our new workshops page for your continued reference. Please tell your friends about it, any couple in the area that you know and love– there are only 10 slots! [Side note: this is best for couples relatively early in their planning process, which applies to anyone getting married in spring or beyond in 2015]
Thanks for reading and for stopping by, it’s good to be back! I have some wonderful weddings and style shoots coming up next week with a whole new look! This is just one way I’ve been conquering my fears this year… join me in doing one thing that scares the bajeebers out of you today!